Runner

You run when things get hard,
And you look the other way,
Not even thinking,
Of those you really scarred,

You run when the beauty is all gone,
Because you seem to find better,
More attractive, younger,
And immediately you are withdrawn,

You run where there is fun,
Work and family stress you out,
You're tied down to life,
So you free yourself and come undone,

You run when you're scared,
You run with no care,
You run because you're a coward,
You run to feel empowered,

You run out of our lives,
Into someone elses,
Until you get bored with them too.

happy new years!

i think possibly the stars have lined up and the world is finally right again!!!
i have my Clyde<3
i have my amazzzzinngggg friends.
i have a healthy family.
what more could i ask for???

i seee another fantastic year ahead for us all. let's live it up!!!

it's hard dating a Jew

I cannot pronounce Hanukkah to save my life!
oh wait, he spells it Channukah.
i just looked it up, and it could be either! what the heck!?
I'm going over to his family's house to light the menorah a few nights, and his dad sent lyrics to some songs they are going to sing for me to learn.
Oi vey.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was hard enough to learn...
AND I have to watch what I say! for example...
Me: "mmmm, doesn't it smell like Christmas?"
Elan: "i don't know what Christmas smells like, but I know what Starbucks smells like around Hanukkah/Channukah though, and if that's Christmas...then i like it!"

hehe..I hope everyone caught my sarcasm..because I really like dating a Jew...especially this Jew in particular(:

Happy Chrismikkah!
(i should steal Mitchell's shirt)

this feeling

a lot of emotions occurred this weekend. love, affection, desire, anger, frustration, depression, homesickness, happiness, complete joy, and loneliness. it was a roller coaster. but i survived. this break was just what i needed to realize a lot of things.

to my girls, you are my everything.
to my family, you're crazy..but someone has to put up with you.
to the hybrid, i miss you arleady.


pineapple is still my favorite fruit.

drivingggg

drivinggg. drivinggggggggg. i was bornnn tooooo driveee. i already made my first driving cd, and damn it's excellent.

driving at night is even better than day time. the lights are captivating.

thank you mister stevens SOOOOOOOOO much <3

note on the door

i'm pretty sure within the next ten years, i will be diagnosed as being bipolar. I wish i was joking. This disease runs in my family very heavily and it's pretty obvious why. After my roommates pageant I was so happy, I was laughing, making jokes with all my friends, but then I walked back to my room and everything changed. I have had this ongoing headache for this whole week and took the most incredible nap today, i hope i'm cured.

but anyway. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I have good friends here, i have a lot of food, i have my own bed, but gah damn i can be so unhappy sometimes. Anyway, after reading and moping around for a good hour and a half i finally get my lazy ass to take a shower. After my shower is complete, my RA (Leanna) says that she left a note on the door for me and we say goodnight and leave the restroom.

I was expecting a little hello on my whiteboard, but instead I got a handwritten note taped to my door folded up so it's only for my eyes. It asks me how i am and how my classes are. Then she says, you are not alone, if you ever need anyone I am a great listener :D

Thank you Leanna, you may have just saved a young girl from having bad dreams tonight. Sleep well my friend.

big blurr

the past few weeks have been a big blur here in san diego. but, this weekend my best friend came to stay with me. for some reason i was really nervous that she wouldn't have fun or she would be different or i wouldn't be a good host. i don't know what i was worried about. even though we had such a hectic crazy weekend running around to all these different places and seeing so many familiar faces, when it came to bedtime and it was just me and her in the twin size bed, everything slowed down. time stopped. and it was back to two little girls sharing secrets until they fall asleep.

i didn't realize how many oxford alumni are in san diego from all graduating classes. i have really grown to love this city.