The first time

Today was the first dayin a very long time I actually went to church. I went because my mom said she hated going by herself, and I hate for my mom to be sad, so I felt obligated to go with her. Obligation to go to church. That's not how it should be. So, I am going to work on that this lent season.

Today I realized a few things. I realized when I sit towards the front of the church I pay more attention, but I also fear my underwear is sticking out and all the people behind me are snickering about it. I realized that the married couple who both wear gray suits, you can't really tell who wears the "pants" in the family. I hope I never become like that. I realized that I probably should go to confession, because just this past year I have done a lot of stupid stupid stupid things that I really regret. But, this is the first time I have realized that those were my mistakes and I can only grow from them. I have realized that the ability to hear silence is truly a gift from God. I realized that I want to get married in the Catholic church and I want to go through the 6 months of marriage classes like my mom did. I realized that if I was the Priest before we started saying the Our Father I would say everyone better hold hands with each other, or else, because we truly are all sons and daughters of God, and darnit hold each others hand. I realized that is truly a pet peeve of mine. I noticed that the woman who sings in the choir is starting to grow her own hair back after going through chemotherapy. That made me happy.

I have definitely realized today more than anything that I love toasted rye bread with butter on top. Oh, how it smells soooo good.