Sunday, November 30, 2008

Because the Disney Channel makes people happy

Prison wear for inmates at the Maricopa County Jail, which is a Tent City Jail created by the Sheriff, became pink from head to toe—underwear and socks included. He created chain gangs, so the inmates could work on county and city projects at no cost to the taxpayers. He then established a chain gang for women so he wouldn’t be sued for discrimination. He put an end to pornographic magazines, and smoking, took away the weights, and allows only “G” rated movies to be shown. He stopped Cable TV, until he discovered that a Federal Court Order required Cable TV for jails. He turned the Cable TV on again, but it only receives the Disney Channel and the Weather Channel. Someone asked the Sheriff, “Why the weather channel?” He replied, “So they’ll know how hot it’s gonna be while they’re working on my chain gang.”
When temperatures soared to over 130 degrees in the Joe allowed the inmates to strip down to their pink boxer shorts. One tent city inmate complained, “It feels like we’re in a Furnace. It’s inhumane.” Sheriff Arpaio offered no sympathy for his plight. He said, “It’s 120 degrees in Iraq, and our soldiers are living in tents too. And, they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn’t commit any crimes. So shut your damned mouth.”
He also cut off all coffee at the jail, because it has no nutritional value. When the inmates complained about the loss of their coffee, he simply said, “If you don’t like it, don’t come back."


Enjoy the moment without expecting it to last.

The Jungle

The grocery store was packed with hordes of elephants wearing big gray sweaters and giraffes with ugly shoes.
My mom had her list handy in order to get in and out of the store, she had jotted down that her list would be no more than $40 bucks, but as we grazed through the aisles we kept piling up the cart with more and more stuff that I knew was not necessary to make this "perfect" thanksgiving. Yet, this is what she wanted. I wish I was still the little kid who is actually able to sit in the cart but instead I have to place the big heavy jugs in place of my once cherished throne.
I pushed the cart and imagined I was driving on a race track. I know when I get the chance to finally drive I will be an excellent driver because I mean I have been playing race car video games forever and that must be accounted for some credit. Not to mention that I'm not too shabby at wii mario cart either. So, in my personal novel that I am conjuring up in my mind this experience would be underlined and noted as foreshadowing. Foreshadowing to a bright future with automobiles and butlers.
Speaking of butlers, I watched parent trap today and if I ever met a girl who looked exactly like me, my reaction would definitely not be that controlled as it was of Lindsey Lohan's. I'm pretty sure I would scream, kick her, then run away shouting IMPOSTOR.
I am not an impostor, or I hope I'm not, nor is my faith crooked. It may show some signs of rustiness, but we are all tin men sometimes. Actually, I question whether my heart is still inside my body..but that's a whole other story.
Anyway, back to the grocery store, I grew rather frustrated when I saw people pushing carts that looked like a clothes store. Everything stacked so neatly that even the apple sauce fit in with the bananas. Grocery shopping was truly an art when it came to putting the items in the cart. I was so tempted to pull out the cereal box from the bottom of the stack and shout JENGA! Now that would be funny. But, what really bothered me was the fact that they are going to check out their items and mess up their perfect structure.
Which reminds me, do they still ask for paper or plastic? Because in paper bags the bagger usually does a perfect job of stacking, but when it comes to plastic they just throw the stuff in. I would hate to have the job of bagging for 2 reasons.
1. You get the job title of Bagger. Almost like beggar or hagger or even shagger. All words that should not be associated with your pay check.
2. If people were rude to me I would put the soda on top of eggs or the bleach next to bananas. and then i would get fired.
But, being a bagger actually might prove to be interesting. I mean you are the person who gets to see all the items this person is buying. The lonely bachelor with his frozen foods that you are tempted to leave your number. Or how about the old woman who buys more cat food than she does food for herself. In some way you are a private detective or a psychologist, and now I think about it I wouldn't mind being the bag girl.

Darcy has to go get neutered tomorrow. poor kitty.
My sister is watching Pride and Prejudice right now and Mr. Darcy is truly the most brilliant man ever to walk the earth. I curse this movie as it has put false hopes into a naive lovers heart.

p.s. you have carved your name permanently on my heart.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

a slice of Apple Pie

When Farruk (6th grade Indian kid I tutor) walked in with a handmade apple pie, it changed my whole perspective. I stopped and thought this is probably what a teacher feels like during Christmas time when they receive gifts from students they don't feel like they have made an impact on. He hates reading yet I make him. He teases me constantly and frustrates me. He definitely finds my cats more interesting than he does the book. And on top of all that he always shows up 5 minutes late and whenever he gets the chance he glances at the clock to see when it's 6:30 and he can play Wii. YET, when he told me he made this pie at his after school program and smiled at me, all of a sudden I realized I may be impacting his life, and hoped for more days like these.


Monday, November 24, 2008

stop it.

I can't decipher if this feeling is either anger, fear, or confusion. My stomach felt like a deep hole was burrowed into it or a rock was thrown down my throat and plummeted dangerously down to the pit. I shook it off before, but it's almost like a chronic disease that you know will always come back. I am fearful. The monotone vibrations ring through the receiver bouncing off temple walls until they cannot be heard any longer.
Please help me to shake off this feeling.
The curtains want to close before the last performance has to go on stage. If only we were all watching a comedy.

Examine your tear underneath a microscope.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

May the forest be with you

very successful first hike!

highlight of the day: feeding Alea (Mrs. O's baby) pieces of a Ritz cracker.

had a delicious 5 hour nap. bad dream. but good phone call.

Experience 1000 types of Love.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Happy Birthday Ms. Parker

drink champagne from a crazy straw


woke up at 5:30 am.

just got home.
But, on the good side..I got to spend all day with Minh. I missed him so darn much. His impression of his Vietnamese parents never seemed to bore me. He had a speech on High school, and some of his words were so inspiring. While he raps he stops and shouts


He is not. I am not either.

that's the moral of the day.

Friday, November 21, 2008


I truly believe that today was the most perfect day. The day that beat all the other days. The day that made all week disappear and only this day mattered. The day that if you asked me how my week was, I would say AMAZING because all my memories went back to this day. That was the kind of day I had.

So, I learned from my crappy timed writing score today that I have to backup everything with concrete detail. So, here it is(:

I wake up at 8 o'clock and I had a blue light. I love having that blue light. Thank you. Went to school at 9. Mr. Rylaarsdam wasn't even in class so I sat there watching Alison playing snake on gmail. Then T.A. was funny cuz during passing period 2 kids were running and full on collided and the girl had a huge bump on her head and was crying and had to go home. So, I felt important because I got to bring Ms. Gibb the wheelchair. That was my one heroic act of the day. Then afterschool this was where the adventure ALLL began.

Rachel and I decided against the dodgeball tournament, so we chose to go lunch instead. We went to her house to pick up money from her dad, he gave her a $20 and said this was for our lunch, that made us 2 very happy people. So, we went to costco we each got a slice of pizza, a churro, and a drink total nearing $7
Then we got in the car and we decided to go to the Barnes n Noble in Fullerton to be intellectuals and sit back and read. But, as we were driving in that direction, I asked if we could stop by my elementary. AND WE DID.
I had to visit my two favorite teachers. Mrs. Shimizu was pregnant! She was sooooo adorable, and her first words she uttered were, "IS THAT TARA MILLSPAUGH?? IS SHE A GIRL??" and I hugged her for a good minute. It felt amazing. The baby is going to be named Zachary and he is due in a week! I can't wait for her to come to my graduation and have him there. Then we waited till my all time favorite teacher Ms. Ruei came back from a meeting and she had to stare at me until her mind comprehended who I was. I held that hug for a good minute too, wishing to go back to 4th grade. She was so proud of me, I could tell. She still thinks I am the smartest and best student and was sad I wasn't applying to Harvard to become a scientist. (yes a scientist) I missed her so much. If there was any time I wished I had a car was now just so I could go afterschool and help her teach her 1st graders and 2nd graders, just so I could be in a classroom again with her. She created me. She was the one who gave me my big head and told me I could accomplish anything. My one true motivator and my one true mentor. If anything I will forever give credit to this woman. Mrs. Shimizu and her were the ones who took me 2 days after 6th grade graduation to Rainforest Cafe and then Build a Bear to pick out a Monkey named Harvard. Wow.

Another day I'll describe the love affair Rachel and I witnessed.

After leaving Lord Baden Powell, Rachel and I decided to go to the Barnes n Noble in Long Beach off of 2nd street. But before that we stopped by seven 11 to get candy and slurpees. We spent nearly $6 there. Now we have only about $6 and change left over from the $20.

So, Rachel and I were merely walking around judging all the books by their covers. Because based on these pictures I took of some book titles, please tell me if you are not judgmental as well.

Unwrap me? thanks. And if you're still doing it after 60 good for you, just don't share it with us. For the handjob handbook this really isn't necessary. Imagine if someone actually bought this book. The checker outer person would either give you an intriguing look or a look of disgust. Either situation it's just going to end awkwardly. As for the contemplating divorce. IF YOU BUY THIS BOOK, then you have a major problem that this book isn't going to fix.

While we continued looking around at books, we picked up a small hardback titled 2,001 things to do before you die. We turned to a random page and the first one we read was "face the people in the elevator" we thought this was so cute. And then the freakiest thing in the WORLD happened. The second bullet we read says.

Roll down you windows and shout "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore"

The irony of this was impeccable. We literally gasped for air and just stood there in disbelief. Rachel and I have already done this and from that second we knew we wanted to buy the book for Mr. O because he would truly appreciate the book just as much as we did. But, books are expensive and we only had 6 bucks and change left. The guy rang up the price and it was 5.98 but with rachels card it was $5.64. WE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY THE BOOK! So there we were. Broke. But completely happy. We borrowed a highlighter and sat there going through all 2,001 things to do before you die and highlighting any of the ones that pertained to us or Mr. O. I can't even explain how much fun it was.

Today was truly a rollercoaster of emotions. From hunger, to satisfied, to nervous, to antsy, to nastalgic, to hilarity, to coincidences, to perfection. Ahh, I really needed today.

A thing to do before YOU die.

Write if only I had ______ on a piece of paper and flush it down the toilet.

That's What She Said

"I couldn't spit it anywhere, I had to keep it in my mouth"

"Did you put them all in there yet?"

"It literally just came down from my top hole"

Although I usually scorn upon that's what she said jokes, today I could not stop laughing. Ahh, what a nice ab workout.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

You're so smart, you're dumb.

I figured my blog name needs some explaining. So, today in choir Athena head butted me. This didn't really come as a shock so I asked her why she was being a rhinoceros? But, instead of correctly pronouncing the huge horned creature I called Athena a rhinocesaurus. Kinda like a tyrannosaurus. After she laughed at me she had to reteach me how to say that word, and I stayed in disbelief for the rest of the period. Right now, I'm saying it out loud to myself and it still sounds so weird. It was an honest mistake. I bet there was a dinosaur that resembled a there! that's my argument.

My other reason for this blog name was because the other ones that came to mind seemed irrelevant. other options were:

That was not in the job description. (mr. hodges said this today and i thought it was cute)
The writings of a hopeless romantic. (i decided against this because i don't want to be referred to as hopeless)
The tahitian flower. (this is the name of my body wash)
I just got lucky. (no reason needed)
The elastic mind. (too philosophical for my own good)

So, I come back to "blog" because I sense that when I go away to college this is going to keep me sane.
be prepared for masterpieces, duds, and rants but all the truths from the pink rhinocesaurus.