Sunday, November 29, 2009

this feeling

a lot of emotions occurred this weekend. love, affection, desire, anger, frustration, depression, homesickness, happiness, complete joy, and loneliness. it was a roller coaster. but i survived. this break was just what i needed to realize a lot of things.

to my girls, you are my everything.
to my family, you're crazy..but someone has to put up with you.
to the hybrid, i miss you arleady.

pineapple is still my favorite fruit.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


drivinggg. drivinggggggggg. i was bornnn tooooo driveee. i already made my first driving cd, and damn it's excellent.

driving at night is even better than day time. the lights are captivating.

thank you mister stevens SOOOOOOOOO much <3

Friday, November 20, 2009

note on the door

i'm pretty sure within the next ten years, i will be diagnosed as being bipolar. I wish i was joking. This disease runs in my family very heavily and it's pretty obvious why. After my roommates pageant I was so happy, I was laughing, making jokes with all my friends, but then I walked back to my room and everything changed. I have had this ongoing headache for this whole week and took the most incredible nap today, i hope i'm cured.

but anyway. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I have good friends here, i have a lot of food, i have my own bed, but gah damn i can be so unhappy sometimes. Anyway, after reading and moping around for a good hour and a half i finally get my lazy ass to take a shower. After my shower is complete, my RA (Leanna) says that she left a note on the door for me and we say goodnight and leave the restroom.

I was expecting a little hello on my whiteboard, but instead I got a handwritten note taped to my door folded up so it's only for my eyes. It asks me how i am and how my classes are. Then she says, you are not alone, if you ever need anyone I am a great listener :D

Thank you Leanna, you may have just saved a young girl from having bad dreams tonight. Sleep well my friend.

Monday, November 16, 2009

big blurr

the past few weeks have been a big blur here in san diego. but, this weekend my best friend came to stay with me. for some reason i was really nervous that she wouldn't have fun or she would be different or i wouldn't be a good host. i don't know what i was worried about. even though we had such a hectic crazy weekend running around to all these different places and seeing so many familiar faces, when it came to bedtime and it was just me and her in the twin size bed, everything slowed down. time stopped. and it was back to two little girls sharing secrets until they fall asleep.

i didn't realize how many oxford alumni are in san diego from all graduating classes. i have really grown to love this city.

why do it?

i'm very lucky to have found my little group of friends here at sdsu who are absolutely amazing influences on me. we can actually sit around and talk about politics, God, the end of the world, parallel universes, movies, literature, and not once mention a party where we got "shitfaced." i always had a problem with drinking because of my brothers, but now, i oppose it so much that it physically hurts me when i hear about how many people on a daily basis abuse this substance. why can't we enjoy drinking? don't binge drink, or just drink to get drunk. I hate alcohol because the way people use it, that doesn't mean when I'm 21 i won't drink, i actually plan on it, but please children, only a few more years to wait, what's the hurry?

maybe the black sheep just wanted to be like the blue sheep.


moral of the story: love hurts? beauty comes with a price? can't touch pretty girls without getting an std? learn karate?